2020 is for Mamas

Ya’ll, I am cutting up in 2020. Last week, I went out three nights (almost in a row). I was headed to go out for the fourth night, but my body just couldn’t do it. I’m old(er) now. But you know what? It felt good. One of those nights was date night, but I spent two of them hanging with my sorority sisters and best friend. It was magical. Ben and I always have date nights; thank God that we have a great family here who will watch the kids at the drop of a dime! But getting out with my girls for laughs, drinks and people watching was truly incomparable. In one year alone, I manage a girls’ outing about 2-3 times, but in 2020, I’m doing more of that. And, of course, I’m keeping date night in rotation. 

Since the year has started, I’ve also read three books. Yes, ya’ll- three damn books! I haven’t read for leisure since Quinn was born nearly seven years ago. I am so excited to start doing more of what I want to do and not letting my kids and mom-life get the best of me. 

Here are some things I plan to do more of in 2020. Will you join me?

Spend less time on social media. I can only imagine the amount of spare time I would have if I didn’t scroll through social media as much. How do you think I’ve read all them books, chile? And how do you think laundry is getting folded right out the dryer? And, hell, honestly- too much social media isn’t good for anyone’s mental well-being. It’s addicting; it triggers sadness and jealousy; it makes us delusional by thinking more friends and likes makes us better, more popular, more social. Yeah, whatever. 

Ask for help. My mom picked Demi and Max up from school yesterday. She took them to Chick-fil-A to eat and play, brought them home and bathed them. I didn’t ask her to do that, but I plan to ask for more of that. I felt so relieved and stress-free. I got to spend more time helping each child individually with an academic task- something that I’ve really been slipping on. Demi can now write her 5s the correct way. It only took 20 minutes of one-on-one practice- all while my mom was bathing Max. Thank, Mom! 

Exercise. My Peloton (bike) has been one of the best things to happen to me. I bitched at Ben for about six months for making that purchase after I told him not to, but I thank him every day. I’ve lost 30 pounds by changing my diet and being faithful on the bike.  Exercising helps my sanity; helps me feel good about myself; makes me smile when I walk past my full length mirror; makes me feel sexy naked. You don’t have to get a Peloton, Mama, but please get you some type of exercise routine.

Spend time alone. We’ve always heard that one is the loneliest number, but it’s not when it comes to mamas. I’m going to book that spa day, go shopping (hell, window shopping if I have to), try a new restaurant, etc- all by my damn self. Time away from the kids is crucial for your mental health. 

Be happy with what I have.  Stop comparing my life, my spouse, my kids, my car, my house with everyone else’s. What I have is truly a blessing!

Laugh more. “Laughter is good for the soul,” they say. I’m going to do more crying/pee in my pants laughing.

Remember that “this too shall pass.” When my happiness seems to be floating away, I will remind myself that tough times don’t last forever and that cuddling with my kids won’t either. I will always put those things in perspective. 

Get more sleep. I am so guilty of this. I am a night owl. I feel like I get more done when all the world is sleeping. But just as exercise is important, sleep is, too. I’ve set a bedtime reminder on my phone, and I’m sticking to it. 

Bedroom business. I’m always about making the bedroom boom a little more spicy. Sorry Mom, MIL and SILs if you’re reading this. How you think we got three kids? Might need to work on #4. 

Plan family fun activities. The kids got science kits and lots of hands on toys for Christmas that we have yet to open. I want more family game/craft nights, more sundae making nights, more vacations, more karaoke and dancing- you know? More of creating lifetime memories.

Leave the house-like now. I’ve already said it, but I am saying it again. I am spending more time with my girlfriends in 2020, and I ain’t really gon’ be asking for “permission.” Bye! 

Choose good enough. I am such a perfectionist, and I think everything has to be in its place, neat, and not a damn stain on it like rapper Big Tuck says. But whatever. Good enough will have to do just fine. I’m tired of stressing over perfection.

Put my oxygen mask on first. You know flight attendants always say this in their safety speeches. It’s true though. How am I to help anyone else, and I haven’t even taken care of myself first? It’s necessary, not selfish.

Slow down. “The days are long, but the years are short.” Soon enough, Ben and I will be empty nesters. I will spend more time giving 100% of myself to my family instead of giving them half of me due to unnecessary multitasking. I’m vowing to stay present in the moment.

Set realistic goals. I view lots of other moms as supermoms, but I know my limit- the moment right before I go over the edge. I’m not going there. I’ve figured out what’s important, and I’m doing just that. I’m no longer putting more on my to-do list than I can accomplish, and there won’t be any unnecessary pressure on my shoulders. 

So again, I ask. Will you join me, Mamas? It’s our year.