Ya’ll, it’s true. When you marry your spouse, you really marry his/her whole family. That’s a given. Let’s just face it, in-laws can make or break your marriage whether you believe it or not. I am in several wife and mom groups on Facebook, and ooooohhhh chile, the amount of drama some people post about their in-laws is too much to even tell Jesus about. I literally sometimes grab my phone, sit down with a stiff drink and my favorite snack and just “enjoy the show.” As I read through some of the comments, the whole time, I’m thinking to myself, “Oh no, she didn’t!” or “She needs to be slapped!” or “Really? Your sister-in-law said or did that to you?!”
I’m not making light of people who have dreadful in-law situations, but I just really can’t relate. My in-laws are my in-loves. Blood could not make us closer. I like them. I actually enjoy family outings and vacations. I love their company. I value their opinion. I like having them around.
Why? Simply because:
- They don’t get in our business because they have satisfying lives of their own.
- They don’t ask Ben to keep secrets from me.
- They support me.
- They don’t think Ben is perfect.
- They don’t show up to my house unannounced.
- They don’t criticize me or make me feel less than who I am.
- They don’t compare me.
- They don’t tell me how to run my house.
- They motivate and encourage me.
- They understand boundaries.
- They don’t try to fix what they may deem as broken.
- They are not judgy assholes.
- They don’t impose themselves.
- They’re helpful.
- They don’t challenge or critique my parenting methods.
- They tell me I’m doing a good job even when I feel like I’m the shittiest mom ever.
- They will babysit at the drop of a dime and for FREE- I don’t think you read that with enough emphasis! FREEEEEEEEE, ya’ll.
I could honestly go on and on about the greatness of my in-laws. I’m not saying any of this to brag. This is just more of a realization of how blessed I truly am. I think the most important thing to take away from this is that all of the above is reciprocal. I respect them and treat them as such. If Ben decides he’s going to up and leave me for some floozy today, I can guar-an-damn-tee you I will be at the family function tomorrow looking fine af and unbothered.
I get that some of us aren’t as lucky to score awesome in-laws. It’s just something about you marrying their beloved son/daughter or brother/sister that just brings out the bat shit crazy in them. But that ain’t my story.
I’m grateful that I haven’t had the horrible in-law experience, and I pray that if you have been through this or are going through this, that you’ll fight to build or rebuild that relationship. After all, your in-laws are important to your spouse. It’s up to both of you to find ways to foster a healthy relationship. This way- everyone wins.