Most of our weekends are packed and eventful. The ones I love most include spending time together as a family and not having to divide and conquer to make this birthday party, that baby shower, that engagement party, that baptism, etc. Recently, I was doing my nightly social media scroll while laying in bed. I came across pictures of a few of my high school friends hanging out and having a great time for someone’s birthday. I suddenly felt sad. I’m fun too, you know?! Why didn’t anyone tell me? Was I not cool enough to be invited? Had I said no too many times, and they’d just thought I wouldn’t come anyway? Idk, but my joy was shot just looking through the pictures and videos of everyone laughing, dancing, and enjoying the night. I mean, I couldn’t have gone anyway, but I would have at least liked to be invited.
I’ll say it. I want to be included in everything; I want my kids to be included in everything. But deep down I’m literally stressed because we are already overscheduled and overbooked for events and can’t fit anything else on our calendars if we tried. But you’ve heard the saying, “It’s the thought that counts.” That truly is the case here, and I must admit, everytime I see or hear about events that we weren’t invited to, it stings a bit each time. It’s a serious case of FOMO.
When I get this feeling, I have to give myself a reality check and think rationally. I know I’m not being left out intentionally. These people are doing exactly what I’m doing- focusing their time and energy on the ones who are closest to them and who they care the most about. They ain’t thinking about me! So what does it even matter if I’m missing all the other events if, in return, I’m getting to spend time with the ones who I love the most- the ones who share the same sentiments toward me?
Even though I am able to rationalize and realize these facts, being “left out” still is an undesirable feeling. I think it’s human instinct to want to be included. However, you need to understand that your inclusion isn’t guaranteed every time. Continue to focus on spending time with those who love you the most, and err on the side believing that true friendships don’t rely on you being invited to every event in that person’s life. Hell, it doesn’t even depend on having regular phone conversations.
I hope my friends will continue to invite me to their functions. I mean, I think I’m busy that day anyway, but I’d still like the cute invitation.