Kids and Chores- To Pay or Not to Pay?

We’ve finally got a good groove of chores around the Smith camp, and I couldn’t be happier, ‘cause Honey, I was this close (put your index finger and thumb finger as close as you possibly can without touching) to throwing up baskets of laundry in the middle of the floor and screaming, “Someone help me, dammit!” It’s been rough y’all. With me back working full time, I’ve really not been able to keep all my eggs in one basket. 

In the wee hours of the morning a few weeks ago, I asked myself, ‘What can I do to make these kids more accountable for helping around the house?’ I searched apps and came across “Chore Hero.” Y’all, it’s been my best friend, and the kids love it,  too. They can come home, grab their device and see the chores that have been assigned to them for the day. They can click them when they’re done. I have the option to reward them however I like, and they can redeem their points for their rewards. It’s pure genius! And it’s free. I didn’t come here to promote Chore Hero, but I came here to say that I almost lost my eggs again when Quinn asked me why I don’t pay them to do chores. Y’all, I went real black mama on him. “You stay in this house for free don’t you? You eat up my groceries for free don’t you? Period Pooh!” 

I honestly don’t think I’ll ever pay my kids to do chores. Nah. Not me. Why?

-Because they need to know that we are a team. Mama isn’t the only one around here who messes up the house. We all need to do our part to make life easier for everyone. 

-Because they need to know that you shouldn’t always expect a reward when you do things that you’re supposed to do. Do it because it’s an expectation, not because you’re seeking a reward. I won’t pay for good behavior and obedience. 

-Because they’ll grow to have families of their own, and their spouses will not talk about the mother-in-law from hell who didn’t teach her kids how to clean up and take care of a house. 

-Because Ben and I reward them in other ways. Typically, whatever our kids want, our kids get, and we remind them that their wants and needs are not even in the closest way an even exchange for them doing their chores. 

-Because I don’t want them to feel entitled. Cleaning up after yourself and knowing how to clean up a mess are both basic skills. They won’t walk away from any table expecting that someone will clean behind them. We even clean up the table at restaurants before we leave. It’s common courtesy. 

-Because I want them to have a sense of pride and be intrinsically motivated to do things and expect Nathaniel in return. (Nathaniel is a black mama’s way of saying nothing).

-Because they can earn money by doing extraordinary things- giving their old clothes and toys to charity, helping an elderly neighbor by watering her grass, etc.  

I get it that some families really want to teach their children the values of work that’s tied to money or the concept that if you work, you earn money. However, the most important thing for me to teach my kids is that being a part of the family and helping each other is the most important thing. 

So, yeah. That’s it. In a nutshell, this mama is not paying her kids to clean up a house that they live in and are the sole culprits of messing up. Well, them and the dog that they begged for, but that’s another post for another day.