Does that sound alarming? Maybe. But you should know that I was complete before I even met him. This is a PSA for those of you who are still in search of your “other half.” Before you find that person, make sure that you are complete. Adding someone to the equation will not make you whole. You have to love yourself, respect yourself, be content with yourself, and marry your damn self before bringing someone else into the picture.
You don’t know how many times I’ve read wedding stories that include, “he/she just completes me.” So…you were half a person this whole time? Were you just roaming around this here Earth with a piece of yourself missing? How does that work? This cliche phrase sounds cute. It’s what society teaches us. What we should really be saying is that our spouse complements us, not completes us. Well, unless of course, you felt like half a person before your spouse came along.
In my honest opinion, I think it’s pretty scary to say that someone else completes you. It implies that you’re needy, dependent and reliant. Are you not fully formed without the existence of this other person?
Yes, my husband and I share interests, but we are also opposites on so many things. And that’s OK. I take pride in my independence. I have my own passions, hobbies, friends, etc. We are two whole people who had satisfying lives before we met. Have our lives been enriched and more enjoyable together? Definitely! But what’s important is that we both possess a solid sense of self, which is what makes us so strong as a unit. I love Ben to the core. He loves me, irritates me, challenges me, accepts my flaws, teaches me patience, and supports me. Despite all of this, he doesn’t complete me, and I thank God that he wasn’t created for that. He is human, and at any point, he can fail me. Why? Because we’re all flawed.
Don’t expect your spouse to carry the burden of completing you. Let him/her be the one you share your joy, peace and hope with, not the one who’s the source of your joy, peace and hope. That’s God’s job.
What are your thoughts? Does your spouse “complete” you?
Great post.
Thanks for reading!