Let’s admit it, Mamas. Motherhood is nothing but a competition. Homeschool mamas, stay-at-home mamas, work-from-home mamas, full-time job mamas- whatever type of mama you are, you better believe #issacompetition.
From the moment a mama gives birth and posts her first picture from the hospital, here we go with something to say. ‘Why is she wearing so much makeup?” “She looks awful. Why didn’t she put on makeup?” “Why didn’t she comb her hair?” “Why didn’t she get a custom made outfit for the baby?” Give me a break; the damn lady just had a baby, ya’ll. Honestly, all she wants to do is bask in the joy of being a new mother.
As far as I know, dads aren’t like this- there’s no competition to be the “best dad,” no animosity, no inner struggle- nothing.
So…why are mamas like this? The funny thing about this competition is that most of the time it’s all in our heads; it’s imaginary. We make the shit up. We see what another mama is doing, and we turn it into an attack on our own performance as a mama. It’s not, ya’ll. Just stop it.
What one mama does is not about you! Believe me- mamas who post on social media about the cool things they’re doing at home with their kiddos (science experiments, homemade learning activities, arts and crafts, etc.) are not posting to make you feel like a bad mother. They’re not thinking, “You know? I’m going to post all of these amazing things that I am doing with my kids so other mamas can feel bad about not doing it with their kids.” Chances are- she’s doing these things with her kids because her kids enjoy it; she enjoys it. Or maybe she’s doing it to keep the kids from tearing up the house, writing on the walls, and fighting each other.
Who cares if another mama makes her own baby food? You’re not a bad mama if you don’t. Hell, your baby is eating, right?
Who cares if a mama makes moons and stars out of her kids’ peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
Who cares if a mama has purchased all of her kids’ Christmas gifts by August? Santa is still coming on Christmas Eve, right?
Who cares if a mama gets her kids to eat vegetables without having to disguise them? Throw some kale and spinach in a fruit smoothie and move on!
Who cares if a mama washes, folds and puts away laundry all in one day? Your kids have clean ‘draws’ even if their balled up in the basket, right?
Who cares if a mama spends her precious time sewing her kids’ Halloween costumes? Save some time, and b
Who cares if a mama makes/buys custom outfits each holiday for her kids? Your child has clothes to wear, right?
Who cares if a mama of multiples has her house spotless each time you come over? Teach them kids to clean, Sis. Err-body needs chores.
So all of that to say that I trust that most women do what they do and operate their household as they please without deliberately trying to make other mamas feel like less of a mother. We’re all doing our very best, and guess what? Our best is good enough.