How many times have you heard these words? How did they make you feel? Like you were in trouble? Like you’d done something wrong? Scared? Anxious?
Have you ever said these words to someone, and they answered with, “Yes! I’d love to talk. I’ve been waiting for this moment.” Probably not. Because when these words are said, something pleasant rarely ever follows. Most times when you say, “We need to talk,” or when someone says it to you, you want them to listen; they want you to listen.
These four words signal someone to believe that something is serious. I know when I say them to Ben, it’s always something going on that I’m not satisfied with. Truthfully, it seems that these words are only used when there’s a problem.
So how about we try a different approach the next time you need to talk to someone. Flat out say what you want to talk about. Say we need to talk about what you said to me at dinner, we need to talk about how you can help more around the house, we need to talk about how you kept using my Netflix account after I logged in at your house for movie night. It could be about whatever! Just talk- without even prefacing the conversation with those anxiety-inducing four words.
Have the decency to give the person a concrete point to reflect on. Otherwise, they waste time and nerves by reviewing every single thing they’ve said or done since birth that could have possibly offended you. The “we need to talk” and then leaving them hanging never really helps the situation. Try this new approach. Do it today if something is bothering you. #getitoffyourchest