What Do You Want Your Kids to Be When They Grow Up?

This is a question that I get asked a lot. I know I see Demi as a doctor because she’s so loving and caring. I see Quinn as some type of artist or chef because he’s creative and loves to be in the kitchen when any meal is being prepared. I’m not quite sure about Max. But him being a lawyer sounds nice and pristine. Surely it’d be incredible if he was a CEO of some multimillion dollar company. But is it really about what profession I (emphasis on I) want my kids to pursue? 

No, so I’ve learned to answer that question a little differently when people ask me what I want my kids to be when they grow up. “Happy,” is simply my response. Because after all, it’s not my job to push any profession, any of my desires, any of my hopes, any of my dreams and wishes on my children.   

Of course with happiness, I want my kids to be respectful, kind, compassionate, loving, etc, but I think that comes with happiness. After all, those who are truly happy aren’t selfish, deceitful individuals. 

I can’t imagine that there’s any parent out there who doesn’t want their child to be happy. I do believe that parents have the tendency to push their kids to fit inside of a boxed idea of what their happiness is. And this, my friends, ends up being the very thing that stands in the way of kids pursuing their passions. I know. It’s hard not to force your success expectations on your kids.But I’ve seen kids who were pushed in a direction that they never wanted to go in the first place grow up to hold grudges toward or even resent their parents. 

Don’t get me wrong. Parents should push their kids. Push them to be intrinsically motivated. Push them to be dedicated to everything. Push them to try their hardest. Push them to be tenacious and have perseverance. But do it in a way that encourages and strengthens things that THEY actually want to do. 

So mamas (and daddies, ‘cause I know how y’all can get with sports thinking your child will be the next Michal Jordan or Deshaun Watson), let’s consciously make efforts to release our own selfish and ego-driven expectations. Support your kids through whatever path of happiness they choose to take. Offer encouragement, guidance and love along the way. It’s not about what YOU want. 

As my kids grow, I will continue to foster things that they are interested in. Right now it’s soccer and baseball for Quinn, it’s soccer and gymnastics for Demi (even though she wasted my time and money with gymnastics) and for Max, well, he just gets in where he fits in, but I’m ready to nurture all of the things he loves. From now until I leave this Earth, “happy” is my response to those who ask what I want my kids to be when they grow up, and that’s that.